The one with Memory Powers - Missus' that is, not mine

Life chez Iyer Household is fine these days. Looking looking (that's english for dekhte dekhte in hindi), we are seven months into the marriage. Happy to report that both of us are surviving and doing pretty well. The going has been good so far, but I am not one to take things lightly and get complacent. No sir. I am very conscious about that. Just to exemplify, take for instance this below conversation from last week, while we were watching a movie (or some serial on TV).

Missus: Isn't that a pretty looking dress ?

Me: Hmm.. Do you like it ? Let's buy

Missus: Batao, where have we seen this before ?

Me: (thinking) ... We ?? Maa Kasam, ye to googly hai. soch beta jaldi soch.

Me: (giving up) Can't think, tum batao ?

Missus: Think na. Hint. It was in that movie we saw right after marriage

Me: (thinking) ... Shit! Which movie did we see ? Surely some horror flick ... Aatma, or Ek thi Dayan... Or no, it might be Bhaag Milkha Bhaag... Or was it Insidious 2. C'mon.. quickly !

Me: (giving up): Bhaag Milkha Bhaag ?

Missus: (also giving up ... on me that is) Nooo.... It was in Satyagraha ! Yaad hai ? In that scene just before interval, when they are travelling and there's a rickshaw that cross them. There's that lady in that rickshaw who's wearing a dress with a very similar pattern. Although that was in darker gradient and crisper material. This one's of course the same pattern on saree. Yaad aaya ?

Me: (thinking) ... Maa Kasam which is this movie, and when did I see this ? Why can't I recall it. Is this the one with Ranbir... No that's Raajneeti. Which is this movie.

Me: Oh Achha. Haan, Maybe ... I guess you are right.

Missus just threw a suspicious look, but I think I got off the hook there.

But there was yet another disaster that unfolded a few days back. Missus was back from her classes. I was in the midst of some office calls when she came home. We talked in actions and whispers for 5-10 mins and then she went inside and changed into comfortable homewear. I honestly don't remember how I managed to get myself into answering this question, but I did, and did so badly.

Missus: What did I wear for my classes today ?

Me: Eh ?

Missus: Batao na. I just came back 15 mins ago. What was I wearing when I came in ?

Me: Erm ... That pretty dress of yours ... Actually I notice just you, can't look beyond you at the dress

Missus: So Cheesy. Stop all that and tell me what was I wearing 15 mins back

Me: ......

Obviously, I wasn't so lucky that time and ended up getting a few earfuls and few pieces of missus' mind.

Thats why I say, I am treading on fine ice and cannot afford to be complacent. Here's hoping that I get my act together pretty soon, and exhibit glimpses of memory power before I am hauled up yet again !

The one with the missus's anger

Greetings from the Iyer household. The new year has arrived and brought with it, among all happiness, well-being and joie-de-vivre, a new aspect to ze missus' demeanour, something which was not very apparent till today. It might as well be a new year resolution that the missus might have made which I am not aware of. Not that I am much aware otherwise. It all started with the most innocuous intent of ordering pizza for lunch today. As is the usual practice, the menu selection and ordering is under ze missus' domain. She does that rather well. She has a keen eye for such things. And thus, we went through the menu and finalized the 3 items (including the cheese dip) that we wanted to order. And that's when it happened - something that has not been witnessed in history.

Below is the transcript of the tele-conversation that happened as part of the ordering process.

Attempt 1:

Ze Missus dialled the number. Some network connectivity

Attempt 2:

Directly connected to the customer ordering center. 

ZM (Ze Missus): "Hello, I am Ze Missus. I want to order.. place an order .. "

PP (Pizza Place): "Hello !"

ZM (Ze Missus): "Hello, I want to place an order for a pi.. "

Attempt 3:

The number went to an IVR. Ze Missus disconnected. I thought I could see some lines starting to show up on the brow. I might have been mistaken as well. But, that was attempt 3. And I then offered my phone to continue to ordering process.

Attempt 4:

Directly connected to the customer ordering center.

ZM: "Hello ! I want to place an order for Pizza for mylocation"

PP: "Hello"

ZM: "Hello, yes, I want to place my order"

PP: "Hello ! Hello !!"

A couple of words of exasperation were let out and the next attempt was made. I could see the lines a bit more now.

Attempt 5:

This went to the IVR and we pressed 1 to continue. The rep came online.

ZM: "Yes, I want to place an order"

PP: "May I ask where are you calling from?"

ZM: "Mylocation, Mycity"

PP: "May I have your number and name"

ZM: "The number is xxxx and the name is Ze Missus"

PP: "Please place your order"

ZM: "I would like to have one Peppy Paneer - large. How many pieces will be there in the large pizza"

PP: "Hello. One large pizza? Could you please repeat?"

ZM: "I said, One large pizza. How many pieces in the large one ?"

PP: "Sorry, can you please repeat?"

At this point, I thought I heard something break. Probably just my imagination it was. But the missus had assumed a different avatar altogether now. The usual calm, cute, sweet, all-pleasing tone of her voice had changed to something more wicked. (Alright, that's a bit of an exaggeration there. She is not capable of that. But there was a hint of anger showing up now).

ZM :"This is my fourth attempt to place the order. Are you not able to hear. Can you please check your connection. . Please check you network connection."

The wind had stopped blowing. The leaves on the trees were not swaying anymore. The birds stopped chirping. The solitary dog in the complex was standing still and not barking likely he always does. It all seemed like to be in response to something very much agitated in the nature and in anticipation of something much worse - a deadly storm - to descend upon them. I am sure the Pizza Place felt some heat too.

PP: "I will give you a call back soon."

And then they called back, took the order and promised a delivery in under 30 mins. The storm kind of subsided. Nature took a breath. The wind started blowing again, mildly so at first and then picked up a gentle pace. The leaves started swaying happily once again. The birds resumed their chirping. The dog though was still silent. He, I guess, was the most impacted.

Ze Missus was now back to her normal calm, cute, sweet, all-pleasing self. I have now seen an avatar which I need to be careful against invoking. Apparently some folks in the society had visions of Kali Maa around the same time this episode happened. I don't think that's a coincidence. Last heard around 6 hours after this incident, the dog was slightly regaining his composure. 

Here's wishing me some luck to not invoke this avatar in this new year. Happy New Year !!